Glinda: Elphie, now that we're friends I've decided to
make you my new project!

Elphaba: Oh you really don't have to do that

Glinda: I know
That's what makes me so nice!

Glinda: Whenever I see someone less fortunate than I,
And let's face it, who isn't
Less fortunate than I!
My tender heart tends to start to bleed

And when someone needs a makeover
I simply have to take over
I know, I know- exactly what they need

And even in your case
Though it's the toughest case I've yet to face
Don't worry, I'm determined to succeed
Follow my lead and yes indeed
You will be

Popular
You're gonna be popular
I'll teach you the proper ploys
When you talk to boys
Little ways to flirt and flounce- ooh!
I'll show you what shoes to wear
How to fix your hair
Everything that really counts to be popular
I'll help you be popular
You'll hang with the right cohorts
You'll be good at sports
Know the slang you've got to know
So let's start
Cause you've got an awfully long way to go

Don't be offended by my frank analysis
Think of it as personality dialysis
Now that I've chosen to become a pal,
a sister and advisor
There's nobody wiser- not when it comes to

Popular
I know about popular
And with an assist from me
To be who you'll be
Instead of dreary of you were- well are
There's nothing that can stop you from becoming
Popular- "lar"?
La la la la la
We're gonna make you po-pu-lar! Ha!

When I see depressing creatures
With unprepossessing features
I remind them on their own behalf to think of
Celebrated heads of state or
Specially great communicators
Did they have brains or knowledge?
Don't make me laugh, hah
They were popular! Please, it's all about popular
It's not about aptitude
It's the way you're viewed
So it's very shrewd to be
Very, very popular- like me!

Why Miss Elphaba
Look at you!
You look beautiful!

Elphaba: I-I have to go

Glinda: You're welcome!

And though you protest, your disinterest
I know clandestinely
You're gonna grin and bear it
Your newfound popularity!

Ha!
La la la la
You'll be popular!
Just not quite as popular as me!